Breakeven Chapter 13
“I don’t… I don’t know, man. I put him down for a second and he was holding onto my hand but then I let go, just for a second and-“
“You lost Misha!” Josh yelled.
I was sobbing. Nothing like this had ever happened before I was always careful, always safe with Misha.
Thousands of things ran through my head. That he was in the massive mall all alone terrified, crying. Then it jumped to the worst possible thing. What if Misha was kidnapped?
A sob racked through my body and Josh held onto me tighter.
“Josh, I want him back now!” I don’t know why I said that. I thought it was obvious, actually. But I was just so scared. What if we never found him? What if he never comes back?
Josh gently rubbed my back and whispered soothing words into my ears.
“He’s gonna be fine, I promise, Cait. We’ll get him back.” I wanted to hit Avan. It wasn’t really his fault but I wanted to hit something. I was just so scared and upset and pissed off.
“Guys, I’m so sorry.”
“Avan. It’s okay.” Josh was trying to be calm but I could hear the worry in his voice and his body was tense. It freaked me out. ”We need to go to Mall Security and get them searching for Misha. Come on, Caity.” I bit my lip as the tears slid down my face.
Josh’s hands found my face and pulled me up to look at him. His hazel eyes were hard and strong.
“Caitlyn. You need to be strong right now, for Misha, okay?”
I nodded and drew in a deep breath.
Josh is right. I need to be strong for Misha.
We made out way through the crowded mall to the security station. We moved fast. Avan was practically shoving people out of the way. He felt so bad.
When we got there, a man in a security uniform and a mustache that looked like it was eating his face sat in a swivly chair.
“Excuse me, my son has gone missing in the mall.” The man looked shocked.
“Description, please.” He grabbed a pad of paper and a pen and looked very worried.
“His name is Misha David Hutcherson. He is two years old. He is almost three feet tall. He has dark brown, curly hair and hazel eyes. He currently has a few stitches on his hairline.” I started shaking again and my voice did as well. Shit, I was going to cry again.
Avan wrapped his arms around me and I burrowed into his chest.
Josh took over answering questions.
“Where was he last seen?”
“He was in the food court around the Pretzel stand.” The man nodded.
“We’ll lock down the mall. No one goes in or out and we’ll find your son.”
“Thank you, so much, sir.” Josh turned to Avan and I. “I’ve got her.”
“You sure?” Avan asked.
“Yeah.” Avan let go of me and Josh held his arms out. I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my head in the crook of his neck.
“Misha David Hutcherson?” I could hear a small smile in his voice. I laughed a sad, shaky laugh.
“What? Did you think I’d give him my last name. Schmit? Misha Schmit? He wouldn’t last a day in school.” I joked. Josh gently stroked my hair.
“He’s going to get enough shit from the other kids with Misha, let’s not curse him more with Schmit.” He jested back. I hit his arm.
“I love the name Misha. It’s not the same thing as everybody else.”
Over the intercom system the security guard’s voice proceed to tell everyone that the mall was shut down and that it was in search of Misha. He relayed his description.
“I want him back, Josh.”
“Me, too.” I tightened my arms around him and hoped for the best.
The cops were called immediately, just in case of the worse, the security guard had said.
“Ma’am, would you like to sit down?” He asked politely. I looked up him.
“No, I’m okay here.” Here in Josh’s arms it felt safe. He was my anchor keeping me from hysterics. He was a part of Misha too. He knew exactly what I was feeling in this moment because he was feeling it too.
A few feet away from us, Avan paced back and forth.
“I’m so, so sorry guys! I was an idiot! I should’ve been watching him!”
“Avan, it’s going to be okay. We’ll find him. we’ve got the whole mall and the police force looking. We’ll find him.”
Avan walked over to the window and looked down below at the street.
“Great. The paps know something’s up. There’s outside waiting.”
“Wow, we’re never leaving my apartment again.” I joked. It just seemed like whenever we left something bad happened.
After the longest fifteen minutes of my life, I heard a voice at the door.
“Mr. Hutcherson?” The security man, Henry was at the door with a smile. “We found Misha.”
I immediately tore away from Josh and ran out into the hall way.
“Where?” Henry pointed. Down the hall Misha was holding and with a young teenage girl. I sprinted down the hall as fast as I could. All I wanted was him in my arms.
“Mommy!” He ran the rest of the way to me and I picked him up, spinning him around. I held onto him and tried to fight back the tears. I crushed him to my chest and kneeled down on the ground. I kissed every inch of his face.
He was squirming around and whining but I was just so happy that he was okay.
The next second Josh’s arms wrapped around both of us. He kissed Misha’s hair.
“Baby boy don’t you ever do that again. You scared Mommy and I so bad. Misha, I’m glad you’re okay.” I looked up at him.
“Josh are you going to cry?” I already was.
“No, I’m just…” He trailed off as a few tears fell.
“Josh, it’s okay. He’s safe. He’s right here.” I passes Misha into Josh’a arms and Josh took a shuttering breath and held Misha close. He closed his eyes as the tears fell.
A few feet away from us a girl stood. She smiled shyly at me but was looking at Josh. A fan. I smiled at her.
“You found Misha?” I asked her. She nodded.
“Yeah.” I knew what she was thinking. She couldn’t believe she had just found Josh Hutcherson’s kid.
“what’s your name, sweetie?”
“Alexa.” I smiled.
“Thank you, Alexa. Thank you so much.”
“It’s no big deal.”
Josh stood up, still not letting go of Misha.
“Thank you so much Alexa. I don’t know what we’d do if you hadn’t found him. Is there anything we can do for you, to thank you.”
She looked so shocked.
“Can I get a hug?” Josh laughed.
“Of course.” Josh handed Misha to me. I smiled as Josh hugged Alexa. After he hugged her I did too.
“Thank you, Alexa. This means the world to us, really.”
“Spenca!” Misha yelled excitedly. Josh still had the little teddy bear in his hands. He had never let go from it. Josh gave Misha the bear and he cuddled it into his chest.
“I neva weave you ‘gain Spenca!” He delcared.
Avan went and grabbed his car and we waited by the entrance. The place was swarming with photographers already.
Josh took off his jacket and covered Misha, who was in my arms.
“Stay under there until we reach the car, okay, Little Buddy?”
I lifted the jacket slightly and peeked in.
“Boo!” Misha giggled.
“Otay.” Avan pulled the car up front and Josh wrapped an arm around me and led us through the sea of paps.
“Caitlyn! What do you have to say about Josh?”
“Are you two together?”
“Are you pregnant again?”
“Are you two adopting a Cambodian child?”
I tried not to laugh or say anything sarcastic, because they would have thought it was real and published it. I kept my mouth shut as I jumped into the car. I quickly took Josh’s jacket off Misha and strapped him into his car seat. But not before Misha smiled and waved out the window at the photographers. The cameras went insane. The windows were tinted by not enough. Misha proceeded to make faces at them, sticking his tongue out, and they were loving it.
“Misha stop it!” I laughed.
“So back to Caity’s place?” Avan asked.
“No, let’s go back to mine. Is that okay?” Josh turned and looked at me.
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
Caity and Misha stayed for a dinner. Afterwards we had a movie night. Avan left and Andre cam home from work and settled in with us. Andre and I both took our chairs and Caity took the couch stretching out. We popped in a new movie it was an action flick considering Misha was upstairs asleep.
After dinner we watched a kid friendly movie and then he was out. I carried him upstairs to my room and tucked him into my big bed.
Withing about forty minutes Caitlyn had overtook the whole couch and fallen asleep. I looked away from the violence on the screen and just looked at her. I hadn’t done that in a while, really. She still looked young. She always looked young for her age. But she looked to be about 18. It was the knowledge in here eyes and her motherly posture that usually made me realize that she was just a year younger than me. Her dark black curls fell, surrounding her face and down her back. Her long eyelashes created shadows across her cheek bones. Her pale skin was still flawless, except for the little beauty mark, that she called a freckle, just next to her lips. Her pink, full lips parted slightly and she released a sigh. She still had a small frame.
She curled her legs up.
“Really, dude? Don’t even think about it.” Andre said, rolling his eyes.
“What? Think about what?”
“Don’t go back to your baby mama.”
“I’m not going back to Caity.”
“Yeah, but you were thinking about it… or at least you were thinking about gettin up-“
“Daddy.” Both Andre and I whirled to the sound of a sleepy Misha. He yawed, his little eyes were half closed. He held his little bear Spencer in his arms and rubbed tired eyes. Andre paused the movie.
“I no sleep. You wead. Pwease?” He held in his arms The Lorax.
“Again?” I asked with a smile. He nodded franticlly.
“Alright. But just once more.” Misha scrambled closer to me and I lifted him up to rest in my lap. He curled into my chest, resting his head against my heart.
“No, baby. Don’t wake Mommy up.”
“But I want to cuddle wif Mommy.” I sighed as Misha went to the couch and tugged on Caity’s arm. Her eyes flashed open.
“Hey, Baby Bear, what’s going on?”
“Mommy, can I cuddle with you?”
“Of course you can.” She held her arms open and Misha cuddled up the couch and snuggled into her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair, smiling fondly at our little boy. Within minutes the two were asleep and Andre and I continued the movie. He kept throwing glances my way, giving me knowing looks, which I ignored… or at least tried to.
After the movie I woke Caity up, I didn’t want her and Misha sleeping on the couch. It wasn’t fair. I carried Misha in my arms and Caity trailed sleepily behind me as I led them to my room. Caity all but collapsed on the bed and burrowed into my blankets. I just laughed. And settled Misha down next to her. His eyes opened but he just curled next to her and she held him close in her arms.
I turned to go and sleep on the couch but this little voice stopped me again.
“Daddy? You weave?”
“I’m going to sleep on the couch, Bud.”
“But I want to sweep wif you.”
“Alright,” Caity said. “I’ll take the couch, you two can sleep in here.” She smiled drowsily.
“No, Mama.” He tugged her arm. “But I want to cuddle wif you too.” Sleep in the same bed as Caity…
“Baby, I don’t think Daddy and I are comforta-“
“But I want to cuddle wif you bof.” He said defiantly. I looked at Caity and shrugged giving me the look of why the hell not? We were both exhausted. Adn we couldn’t fight Misha. I took off my jeans and pulled on sleeping shorts and got into bed. Misha was in between Caity and I and he seemed very please with himself.
“Mama, sing?” He asked as he yawed. She yawned too.
“Okay Misha, what song?”
“Night night song.”
Caity yawned again and began to sing.
“Now it’s time to say good night.
Good night, sleep tight.
Now the sun turns out his light,
good night, sleep tight.” Her voice was perfect and clean. As we all laid in bed it was lulling us all to sleep.
“Dreams sweet dreams for me.
Dreams sweet dreams for you,” The gentle melody was the last thing that I heard that night.
With a cameo appearance from holymerlinbatman or Alexa.
Breakeven Chapter 12
I stormed into my house and ripped my jacket off my shoulders. I threw it across the room.
“I can’t believe her!” I yelled.
“What’d she do now?” Andre yelled from the kitchen.
I rushed into the kitchen.
“So she was leaving for rehearsal and I kissed her, right? And so it was really awkward when sh-“
“What the fuck, you kissed her?” Andre nearly spilled the Raman Noodles as he whipped around.
“Yeah, but that’s not the point. The poi-“
“What do you mean that’s not he point? What the hell is wrong with you? Why’d you stick your tongue down her throat?”
“Look, I didn’t mean to okay. It just kind of-“
“Happened?” Andre smacked the back of my head.
“Did that hurt?”
“Yeah, a little.”
“Good, you idiot.” He turned off the stove and pushed his Raman Noodles away. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Man, we’re going to have a talk. Man to Stupid.”
“Son of a…” I drifted off as he shoved me into the chair.
“No kissing the ex.”
“NO kissing. The ex. Josh do you remember what she did to you? Come one man. I love Cait just like everyone else.” I raised my eyebrow.
“Okay, well not like you. You know what I mean, dude. She was like my sister. But what she did to you, you can’t just forgive her like that and go making out with her.”
“I didn’t m-“
“You’re in deeper than I thought. Josh, man. This is going to end badly. If you fall for her again… It’s not going to be good. You think this will be some fairy tale ending where you, Cait and Misha ride off into the sunset together, but it’s not. Do you remember what it was like after she left? For months you were fucking depressed and then you were just pissed off all the time. And do you remember the horrible rebounds? Come on. Being with Cait is only going to hurt you.”
“I know.” I say in a small voice.”It’s not that simple.”
“And what if you two get back together?” He asked, ignoring my past statement. “What if you guys get back together and break up? Do you realize what this do to Misha. Yeah, he’s young. He’s not really going to remember it. But what if you two keep doing this on/off thing? How do you think it will make Misha feel? His mom and dad happy and together and then pissed and breaking up all the time. If you guys stay like this, just parents you won’t have to worry about hurting him.”
Fuck, he had a point. I leaned back into the chair, wiping a hand down my face.
“Why does this have to be so complicated?” I moaned out to no one.
As I laid in bed that night I thought over Andre’s words. He was right. I needed to focus on Misha. He’s my life now. No matter what I need to do what’s best for him.
I walked up the stairs to Caity’s apartment. I stood outside of her door for a good two minutes before I knocked.
I pushed open the door and walked into the kitchen, just like normal. Caity was flipping pancakes and Misha was standing at her feet, trying to help. He looked at me and his eye lit up.
There was my whole world. Right there.
“Daddyyyyyyyyyyy!” He giggled as he ran across the tile floor and launched himself into my arms. I scooped him up and held him close. I closed my eyes, wanting to keep this moment.
“I missed you, Misha.”
“I miss you too, Daddy!” His little arms were wrapped tightly around my neck. I kissed his cheek. “I wuv you!”
I stopped. Those three words. It was the first time he’d said them to me. My mouth fell open. I never knew those three words could mean so much. My heart soared and I tried to choke back the emotions that I was feeling.
“I love you too.” I held him as close as I could. I never wanted to let him go.
But he had other plans. He wiggled and writhed in my arms.
“Daddy! Pancake! Pancake!”
“I’m not sure I heard you right is Mommy making pancakes?”
“Yeah! Yeah, siwy!” he giggled and I set him down. “I hewp!”
“You’re helping? That’s great, bud.”
“It’s almost ready, you can take a seat. I’ve got it, plus I have Muscles down here to help me.”
“Grrrr!” Misha held up his arms and flexed. I couldn’t help but laugh. God, my kid is the cutest in the world, I swear.
Caity and Misha set the plate of pancakes on the table and we all dug in. Misha attempted to make a house out of his, but it crumbled and he mashed them with his fork and mixed the syrup in with them.
“Ew, Misha. Don’t play with your food.” He chewed his food and stuck his tongue out at Caity. I tried not to laugh, but reprimanded him instead.
“Misha.” He looked at me with side eyes. “Stop messing with your food. And don’t stick your tongue out with food on it. It’s disrespectful.”
He looked down at his plate.
“Oookay.” He picked his fork back up and took a small bite. I stumbled a bit. He just looked so sad. I glanced up at Caity and she mouthed, It’s okay. He’ll be fine.
I nodded my head, still unconvinced. Within seconds he had an animated smile on his face.
“Cartoooons! Pwease Mommy! Oh, pwease, oh pwease! can I watch Cartoooooons? Pwease! I’ll be good, I pwomise!”
“Well you did eat your pancakes.” His eyes lit up. “Or pancake mush… I guess you can go watch cartoons.”
He immediately jumped out of his chair and ran into the living room yelling.
Cait got up and took Misha’s plate to the trash and scrapped it in and then set it in the sink. I grabbed some of the dirty plates and helped. I set them into the sink. I looked down at the plates.
“Caity, I’m sorry about last night. I was-“
“A dick?” I glanced up to meet her blue eyes. She held a small smile on her face and a knowing look. “Yeah, I know. But I was a bitch, so it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. We can’t do that. It’s not fair to us and it’s not fair to Misha. Fights are normal, but not over stupid things like that.”
“I’m sorry too. Really we both said some stupid things and jumped to conclusions. We both just need to focus on parenting Misha.” I nodded.
“Exactly.” The tension seemed to die down a little in the room as I helped Cait with the dishes.
My phone rang in my pocket.
“One sec.” Avan. “Hey, man. What’s up?”
“Dude I want to see Misha again.” Avan had fallen in love with Misha. How a man in his late twenties could become best friends with his, well… his best friend’s two year old son, I do not know.
“Yeah, do you want to come over?”
“Naaw I was thinking we could like head out and do something. We could taking him to the toy store in the mall. I know you’re still on edge about the park thing, but come on I want to be a good God Father.”
It was last week that Avan first got to meet Misha. They had gotten along so well Cait and I decided to name him Misha’s God Father.
“Alright, hold up,” I held my hand over the phone. “Cait, Avan wants to take Misha to the toy store at the mall. Do you think it’d be okay?”
She pursed her lips.
“Well, I don’t see why not, as long as you’re careful.”
“Sweet. We’re good to go,” I said into the phone.
“Oh and Caity’s coming too, right?” I looked at Cait.
“You wanna go?”
“No, I’ll stay here.”
“Aww come on!!!” Avan yelled through the phone at her. She laughed.
“Okay I have fallen for peer pressure!”
“Awesome. I’ll pick you all up in about twenty minutes.”
Caity did the dishes while I got Misha ready. Putting overall on a squirming, excited two year old boy has to be one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. Well, besides change his diaper.
When Avan pulled up Misha latched himself to his leg, while I put his car seat in Avan’s car. Cait sat in back with him and we were off.
The mall was crowded but we all stuck close. First thing was first, the toy store.
I held Misha’s little hand in mine as we walked into the little store. He was ready to tare free from my hand and run around, but I held on tight.
“Twansfowmass!” he held a Bubble Bee toy in his hands, gazing at it.
I laughed as Misha dragged me all around the store looking at nearly everything.
There were hundreds of toys and most of them were expensive. Money obviously wasn’t an object with us, but it shocked me at what Misha wanted more than anything else in the store.
He stopped dead in his tracks, He slowly made his was over to the bin in the back of the store. He cocked his little head to the side as he picked up an old hand-me-down teddy bear. The back of the store is where they had and exchange area. No one really made stuffed animals anymore and they were difficult to come by.
Misha’s eye glowed as he took the bear cautiously in his hands.
The bear was dark brown and missing and ear and an eye. The insides of his ears and the bottoms of his paws had a cloth pattern on them of lighter brown.
“Ohhhhh.” Misha mumbled. ” I wike him.”
I squatted down next to him.
“Do you like the bear?”
He nodded his head and stared at the bear as if it were the best prize in the world.
“His name is Spenca.”
He nodded his little head. He cuddled the bear, Spencer, closer into his chest and burrowed his face into the bear.
The shopkeeper was just behind the desk a few feet away.
“How much for the bear?”
“That ratty old thing?”
“He’s not watty!” Misha glared at the man. He looked down at Misha.
“My apologies. The bear? $10. Practically free.” I took out my wallet and handed him the bill.
“He’s yours now,” I told Misha. His eyes were swimming with tears of happiness.
“Tank you, Daddy. Spenca’s happy too.” He wrapped his little arms around me, still holding onto the bear.
We met Caity and Avan back at the counter. Avan had gotten him a few toys and he was so excited, but not once did he let go of Spencer.
“Instead of forcing you boys to follow me around while I go shopping, how about you boys take Misha around for a while and I’m going to go see if I can find some new jeans.”
“Yeah, cool. No problem.” Avan said, picking Misha up. Misha pushed Spencer against Avan’s mouth as if to give him a kiss and let out a,
I smacked my head.
“Hey, guys, I just remembered I have to run over and get some new cleats for soccer. I’ve worn out my old ones. Avan do you mind taking Misha while I go grab those. We’ll meet you at the food court in about thirty minutes?”
We all began to walk away.
“Thirty minutes, Caitlyn!” I yelled jokingly to her. She rolled her eyes and walked toward the numerous clothing stores. I waved at Misha as Avan walked another direction.
At the athletics store I looked for the right cleats. They ended up being expensive but they were good and would last a while. I grabbed my purchase and realized I took a lot longer than I thought.
I quickly made my way to the food court and looked around. I got caught up by a few fans and took a few pictures, but searched for any sign of Avan, Misha or Caity.
A few feet away from me, on the floor, I saw the little brown bear, Spencer. I shook my head. Hasn’t had it for an hour and already lost him. I thought he liked him better than that. Luckily, I found it for him. I picked up the bear and searched for them.
I finally saw Avan and began to walk over. Caity was next to him crying and looked like she was going to hit something.
I full on sprinted over to them.
“Whoa, Cait! What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” I placed my hands on her shoulders and turned her to face me. She was hysterical and just fell into my arms. I held her close and looked at Avan.
“What the hell is going on?” Avan looked like he was about to cry and was freaking out himself.
Breakeven Chapter 10
Josh’s hand cupped my cheek, softly. My eyes shut instantly. Contact. This contact I haven’t had in years. Not like this. And definitely not with Josh. I instantly just melted into him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer holding onto the small of my back. His hand caressed through my curls and then tangled in them, bringing us closer together.
My heart thundered in my chest and my mind blurred. His lips worked softly, very softly against mine. But the passion of the kiss burned. I gently caressed his cheek. Savoring this moment. It’s something I had waited for and dreamed of for two years. Josh gently pushed me against the door frame. We broke away for a split second to get air, but it seemed like our lips refused to part. As if we were now melted together. I didn’t want it to ever end.
My heart soared. I felt like I was flying. I ran my fingers through his short hair and I gripped his neck. I ran my hands down his shoulders and felt the new muscles of his biceps. I pulled myself closer to him.
His tongue gently glided across my lips and without even thinking, I granted him access. Our tongues danced together, the same dance but it felt brand new. It felt like I was being kissed for the first time ever. The fire of excitement spread through my body and he gripped me closer. Our bodies seemed to be as one.
He firmly held me in his arms as if I would disappear in an instant and he wanted to hold on forever. He broke away for air, but his lips never left me. They trailed down my neck. Having not had this kind of contact in years, I started shivering immediately. He knew exactly what to do. Exactly where to pay attention to. To drive me crazy.
He gently sucked on my pulse point and I scratched his soft hair. His stubble tickled my neck. I brought his lips up to mine again. I couldn’t help it. I just need to feel his lips against mine. The way they moved perfectly in sync together.
My head was spinning and time seemed to slow down. Each kiss, each touch each moment was drawn out and savored.
The kiss slowed. Our grips on each other loosened and it seemed as if reality had caught up to us. Our lips slowly disconnected and my eyes snapped open.
We just kind of stared at each other, eyes wide and our mouths agape.
Josh started stuttering. He jumped back from me as if he’d been burned.
“I.. that.. But.. I’m so.. I just…”
I was dead silent. I bit my lip.
“I have to go to rehearsal.” I slid out for in between his body and the door frame and practically ran down the hall. I go into my car and just sat there for a few minutes.
Oh my God. I just kissed Josh. Fuck.
I drove to the theatre and the paps were waiting for me. I tried to hide my shock and confusion on what just happened. The second I was out of the car, I was swarmed.
“Caity, why did you keep the baby!”
“How is your child coping?”
I rolled my eyes and tried to push past them. I tried to ignore their comments. Some of them started to get very rude.
“Is Josh a bad father?”
“How much weight have you gained since the baby?”
I just sighed. They only kept getting worse.
“Excused me. I’m trying to get to rehearsal.” I tired to shove past them, their cameras lights were so annoying.
“Move, guys! Out of the way! We need our Mimi.”Jeff was parked behind me and guided me through the crown of paps.
We didn’t stop until we were safely in the greenroom away from the windows so they wouldn’t look in and get a picture.
“Thanks,” I said.
“No problem. You seemed a little over your head.”
“Yeah, I really hate the paps. But’s they’re kind of a package deal, you know?” He laughed and scratched the back of his head.
“Yeah, your boyfriend’s kind of famous, huh? I haven’t really seen anything he’s been in.”
I whipped my head around to him. “You’ve never seen anything he’s ever done? Like… anything? I mean, come on, Bridge to Terabithia, The Hunger Games or mayb-…. oh.. Oh, my gosh and Josh isn’t my boyfriend. I mean..” I thought about the kiss. I bit my lip. One kiss… or makeout doesn’t mean you’re dating and why should it matter to anyone else? “No we’re just… parents.”
“Oh, that’s cool.” Jeff smiled a little. “Speaking of… parenting… How’s your kid… Michael, right?”
“Misha.” I corrected.
“Oh, yeah, Misha.”
“He’s great. He’s so happy with Josh.”
“Everyone we have 45 minutes until warm-ups!” Our stage manager, Kaylee, yelled as she walked past the Green Room and down the hall.
“Thank you, 45!” Jeff and I called, back.
“Well, I’ve got to go get ready,” I answered.
“Yeah, I probably should too. We’re doing Out Tonight and Another Day.” He smirked. “You think we’re going to do the kiss today?” I blushed thinking about a different kiss instead.
“Umm.. I’m not sure it’s up to the director.” I walked to the Women’s dressing room and got into yoga pants and tank top.
“Oh, Cait. Stevens said to wear your new heels to break them in.” I turned and saw Lilley, the girl who plays Joeanne.
“Alright, thank you.” I put on my heels and walked out.
“Sexy.” Freddie, a tall skinny brown haired man who played Mark commented. I laughed, rolling my eyes.
“Thanks, I try.” I said with a wink. In our theatre we were all just friendly.. meaning we flirt with everyone.
“Yeah, nice ass.” Jeff walked by and slapped my ass.
“Hey!” Everyone turned, It wasn’t very often that I got offended at something.
“Sorry… too far?” I nodded. I smiled.
“It’s alright, Jeff. But remember the rule, you can look but you can’t touch.”
We went through rehearsal as usual, Jeff and I didn’t have to kiss as our characters which was good, for some reason it felt wrong to kiss Josh and then go kiss Jeff. Two guys in one day… It just didn’t seem right anymore.
I turned and there was Jeff.
“You wanna go get some coffee or something?” My eyes bugged slightly. Was he asking me out?
“Uh.. no, sorry I’ve got to get home for Misha, you know. Maybe another time.” I couldn’t help but answer.
“Yeah, sure. Here’s my number, though. Call me sometime.” He handed me a piece of paper with his phone number.
“I… uh.. sure.”
Breakeven Chapter 9
I was at the stove making breakfast. The bacon was frying and Misha was already in his high chair. I had most of the food already on the table. A few weeks had passed since I had my very vivid dream. It made being around Josh… slightly more awkward, but I didn’t let it show.
I had put in my two weeks at the restaurant I worked at. Josh was upset with me working so much and I had finally agreed to let him pay for things, but only if it involved Misha and it was too much out of budget. He had attempted to buy me a new car and but I stopped that idea fast.
Josh, Misha and I fell into a sort of routine. Josh would come over in the morning and if he didn’t have a meeting for his next new movie we’d all spend the day together until I left after dinner for rehearsal and work. After I came home, we’d hang out for a while, and Josh would go back to his place.
The door opened and Josh walked into the kitchen.
“Daddy!” Misha squirmed in his seat. I glanced behind me as Josh kissed Misha’s head.
“Mornin, Squirt.” He walked up behind me.
“What’s for breakfast?”
“Fried potatoes, eggs, and the toast are already on the table. I’m done with the bacon now.” I turned off the stove top and Josh grabbed me a plate. I put the sizzling bacon on the plate and started heading over to the table.
“What, no Good Morning hug?” Josh asked. I turned around and stood with his arms out and a small smirk on his face. My heart jumped. I tentatively wrapped my free arm around his neck. His strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me against him. I could feel his hard muscles through his shirt. His warmth spread into my body. He rested his chin on my shoulder.
“Morning.” He whispered in my ear. I took a breath and I could smell his cologne.
“Morning.” I pulled away and walked to the table, setting the plate down. I fixed up Misha’s plate while Josh sat, making his own.
“But Mommy, I don’t like po-ta-toes.” Misha wined as I piled a small amount on his plate. I looked at him questioningly.
“What? Misha, baby. You love potatoes.”
“Not dat kind! Dere icky!”
“Misha you had hash-browns yesterday for breakfast. It’s the same thing.”
“Nu-uh.” I sighed. Josh smiled up at me.
“You know, Misha. All the cool guys eat fried potatoes. I mean, I do.” He piled some on his plate. “See?” Misha took a look. His eyes narrowed.
“You gonna eat it?”
“Yeah, Mommy makes the best fried potatoes.” He popped some into his mouth and chewed with a smile. A slow smile crept onto my face. Misha looked from Josh to his own plate, picked up his fork and nibbled the tip of a potato piece. His eyes lit up.
“Daddy, you’re wight. I wove dem!” I rolled my eyes. Of course, Daddy’s right. Josh caught on and winked at me as I sat down.
“I’m always right.”
After breakfast, we decided to do something inside. The paps were crawling all over the city and scouting Josh and I out. Every time I went to rehearsal they were there. I always drove around until I lost them to head back home. Josh didn’t want them to know where I lived.
“We watch movie!”
We lounged around on the couch and Misha scrambled on the floor with his blanket and Laser the stuffed dog. He was glued to The Brave Little Toaster. I brought my knees up underneath me and sipped on coffee. Josh sat next to me on the couch and brought his arm up around the back. I froze for a second.
His fingers gently brushed my shoulder and I felt like a teenager girl again. For the first time in years. A jolt ran through my body at his touch. I bit my lips and out of the corner of my eye, I swore I saw Josh lick his. It was an immediate reaction we’d always had with each other. We didn’t know why. Why didn’t try to do it, but it let me know that Josh was watching me too.
I gulped and tried to focus on the movie.
“So, I uh talked to my mom,” Josh whispered. “She wants us to go to Kentucky this weekend. So that she, dad and Connor can meet Misha. What do you think? Can you get out of work?” I looked over at him. He looked hopeful. I knew he wanted to patch things up with his parents. He wanted Connor to meet Misha, too. I mean, hell I wanted to see Connor too. We’d always been really close. he was like a little brother to me too.
I thought of my work schedule.
“I can work something out. I’ll need to ask off rehearsals, but I’m not working at the cafe all weekend.” Josh smiled.
“Perfect.” His arms came to wrap around my my shoulder and he squeezed it.
Misha enjoyed the movie and then we played around the living room for a little while. I settled Misha down for a nap.
“Josh I’m gonna take a shower and-“
“Mind if I join you?” Josh wiggled his eyebrows and I just stared at him with wide eyes. It took him a second but realization crossed his face. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean.. I wasn’t implying that we… No, It was a joke. I just…. I’m sorry that was inappropriate and uncalled for.” Josh was blushing like crazy and so was I. What was even worst was that part of me wanted to say yes. And that part of me was kind of… hurt by his reaction. But I put it past me. It would be stupid to be hurt by that.
Plus, Josh would never think of me that way anymore. I’ve changed over these two years. I didn’t look like I did then. And of course just the… awkwardness of it all.
“Um… right… then I was just going to, uh, take a nap until Misha wakes up, you’re welcome to nap out here or take a shower in the guest bathroom. Help your self to food in the fridge and-“
“Cait, I’ve been practically living here for two weeks, I think I know the rules and where the food is.” He smiled, trying to diffuse the tension.
I rolled my eyes.
In the shower I tried to think. About Josh and I. About Misha. About everything. Josh and I had been getting closer these past couple of weeks. Almost like friends, maybe? But then there would be these moments, like what just happened, where we’d slip up and act like it was two years ago. Then reality would catch up to us and it’s would be awkward.
I washed my hair and climbed out. I barely put on clothes, just a tshirt and shorts and collapsed into bed.
When I woke up I smelled food. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, I heard giggling coming from the front rooms.
I walked almost zombie-like into the kitchen. I smelled chicken and… something else. I heard sizzling and peaked my head in.
Josh looked up from the stove.
“See, Misha! I told you the food would wake Mommy up!” Next to Josh, in his high chair, was Misha. Josh was cooking…
“What’s for lunch?” I asked, walking in and kissing Misha’s hair.
“Not lunch, dinner. You slept through lunch.” I turned to him, eyes wide.
“Yeah, you were out cold and I didn’t want to wake you. You’ve seemed tired lately so I let you sleep. I took care of Mish and as you can see he is alive and well and now I’m making Chicken Alfredo. Your recipe. The one you taught me… a few years ago.” I nodded, ignoring the last bit.
“Yeah, Mommy! Daddy and I built a fowt in my woom!” Misha exclaimed, loudly.
“A fort? That sounds like so much fun! Is it still up?”
“Yeah! Afta dinna can we go pway in my fowt?”
“Of course we can! Did you thank Daddy for helping you?” Misha looked at Josh and I did too. He was looking at Misha and I with a fond look, a small smile pulled at his lips and his eyes softened.
“No… Tank you Daddy fowr my fowt!”
“You’re welcome, baby boy.” He coughed and look back at the food. “Dinner’s ready.”
We ate, listening to Misha talk about his new “fowt” made out of his dinosaur sheets. After dinner we played for a little while more and I began to get ready for rehearsal and get Misha ready for bed.
Josh was great and gave him a bath and into his jammies. I walked into his room just as Josh was finishing The Lorax.
“And now it’s Mommy’s turn with the music.” Just like every night since he was born, I sang him the Night Night song, Goodnight by the Beatles and he drifted off to sleep.
Josh and I settled on the couch and started watching a random TV show. I could feel we both started thinking about the same thing because the air had a sort of… awkwardness about it. We both started thinking about us. I swallowed and pretended to pay attention to some red head with glasses who kept making horrible puns whist attempted to solve a crime.
“I’ve got to get to rehearsal here soon.” I got up and grabbed my purse. Josh walked me to the door.
“You gonna be okay, driving in the dark with the paps out there?”
“I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl now, Josh. I think I can handle it.” I joked, winking.
“Call me if they get to be too much. I’ll come pick you up.”
“Remember drive around for a little while so they don’-“
“Follow me back, I know Josh. I’ll be okay. I promise.” I gave him a small smile. He opened the door I was halfway through.
I turned around and Josh’s lips came crashing down on mine.
Breakeven Chapter 8
Two years earlier
The sunlight streamed in through the open window. I was so comfortable. I cuddled into my pillow deeper and sighed. Today was going to be a great day, I could feel it. I opened my eyes.
My pillow… wasn’t a pillow. My mind caught up to me and I remembered.
My pillow was Josh. I smirked at his sleeping form. He look peaceful and innocent, or he would be innocent if it wasn’t for the fact that he was naked and what exactly he did to me last night. I laughed to myself.
I licked my lips as I strattled him. He started to wake. I began kissing his neck slowly, sucking and then biting.
“Oh my God!” Josh exclaimed, jarring awake. I leaned down to whisper in his ear.
He chuckled softly to himself. I could feel his heartbeat was pumping fast. It was great knowing I had this affect on him. I had Josh Hutcherson at my mercy. I had him wrapped around my little finger. I knew it and I used it like a weapon.
I caught his lips with mine and his hand weaved into my hair, pulling me closer. My hands caressed his arms, starting at his wrists and going up to his shoulders and wrapping around his neck.
“Cait, Cait don’t do this to me.” He groaned as he pulled away. “You know I have work.”
“Blow it off.”
Breakeven Chapter 5
We took Josh’s car again Misha was in the back attempting to sing along to some song on the radio. He didn’t know the words so he just blasted out incoherent words. Josh kept looking in the rear view mirror, laughing his ass off.
We got to a not-too-well-known Baskin Robbins. Today was pretty hot and ice cream was the perfect choice. We piled out of the car and Misha kept jumping around Josh’s legs getting him tangled.
“Misha… Buddy, you can’t do that I’m trying to walk!” Josh, excalimed laughing. Misha kept jumping around him.
“Misha,” I reprimanded. “Listen to…” I caught myself. I was about to tell him to listen to ‘Josh’. “Misha listen to your father.” That got him. He stopped for a second.
“Fawter!” He giggled. Josh’s lips turned up at the corner. He reached down and scooped Misha up and stuck him on his shoulders. Little Misha played with his hair and rested his tiny head on top of Josh’s. “WE get ice cweam!”
We walked in the small shop. There was an older man working behind the counter. He didn’t seem to be that busy, surprisingly. There were a few pre-teens in the back sharing a sundae and then an elderly couple. I smiled at them when we walked in. I loved seeing couples like that.
“So what do you want Buddy?”
“Ummm… ” He peaked over Josh’s shoulder at all the prospects, his eye lighting up. “Ummmm… I want it ALL!”
“I’m sure you do, but you have to pick one.”
“Bu, bu bu… but… Can I have bites?” He knew that Baskin Robbins would let you try a bite of whatever you wanted.
Boy, this kid is good, I thought to myself. We were definitely working the older gentleman. After every small spoonful Misha would point to another random ice cream
“Dat one, pwease!” I had to hand him the spoons because he still refused to come down from Josh’s shoulders. He felt like he as king of the world.
After tasting a fair share of flavors’ Misha’s eye bugged out of his head. He started squirming.
“Cotton candy! Cotton candy! Pwease, oh pwease?” The grey haired man, laughed to himself.
“You have a beautiful kid.” Josh smiled, glancing up at Misha.
“Thank you.” I handed Misha the pink and blue ice cream and he licked it, already making a mess.
“Josh, unless you want ice cream down your head and back, I suggest you put Misha down,” I warned.
“Naw, he’ll be fine.”
“Wight Mommy! I’ll be fine!” He licked the ice cream cone, getting blue all over his nose. I just laughed.
“Okay,” I whispered to myself.
Breakeven Chapter 4 is up!
Tell me what you think?
Breakeven Chapter 4
AN: This chapter is really short. I’m sick and going to the doctor today but I still wanted to give you guys a chapter so I’m posting what I have done so far. I’ll continue in chapter five.
I drove back to my house that I shared with my roommate Andre. I just kind of stumbled in. I was stuck in my head. After we told Misha I was his Dad, he was a little confused, but after a bout a minute he smiled and jumped wrapping his arms around my neck. I just held him. I wouldn’t admit it to anyone else, but I cried. I stayed for practically the rest of the night. I ignored Caitlyn as much as I could but focused on Misha.
We watched cartoons, colored, played pirates. Caity took some pictures with my phone so I would have some of Misha and I. Then she baked us green cupcakes and he got icing all over himself so I gave him a bath. I wasn’t too sure what to do but Caity helped. She mostly stood back and let me figure it out unless I asked for help. After that she even let me tuck him into bed that night. I read him a book, The Lorax. Caity had to sing him to sleep, though. She knew I wasn’t a singer. But she always had an amazing voice. She sang “Goodnight” from the Beatles and he drifted off to sleep.
I laughed to myself.
“What’s up, dude? You missed the first half of the game.” Andre said. It was true. I sat over by the couch next to him. “Oh and Jogia’s in the bathroom.”
“What’s the score?”
“Alright.” I kept flipping my phone in my hand as I watched the game.
“So where were you? You never miss a game.”
“I didn’t miss a game. I’m here aren’t I?” I said trying to brush it off. I wasn’t sure how to tell him.
“Heeyy! JHutch!” Avan said entering the living room. “Finally. What took you so long? I thought you were just getting coffee after work?”
“Um… yeah, you know. I did…” Andre and Avan looked at each other and grinned slyly.
“Who is she?” Avan said sitting on the other side. I rolled my eyes.
“Actually it wasn’t a she.” Both the guys stopped. I wanted to smack myself for how that sounded.
“Cool, man. Good for you.” Avan said, nodding in acceptance.
“No, no, no.” I laughed. “It’s… it’s not that. I can still be aprat of SBNN”
“Okay, then… what is it?” Andre paused the game and both guys looked over at me. I took a deep breath.
Well, here goes nothing.
“I went to see my son.”
There was a moment of silence.
So here’s the deal guys. (Concerning Breakeven)
I have to go into the the doctor today and I’m not completely finished with chapter four.
So instead of making you guys wait another day or two…
I’ll post what I have done of the chapter now. It’s just going to be a really small chapter.
But here’s my apology…
Yeah… you are welcome. :)
~Princess Consuela Banana Hammock
Breakeven Chapter 3
“I… don’t know where to begin really.”
He stared blankly at me from across the table.
“Oh, I don’t know how about when you found out you were pregnant and made the choice not to tell me.” His voice was harsh. I looked at the glass in my hand.
“I found out… well, it was in the hiatus between Hunger Games tour and the filming of Catching Fire…. about a week before I broke it off with you.” His eyebrows raised, but he nodded to continue. “You remember that I had just lost my dad and you know all the shit he put me through before that. I already had issues. With the…drinking and parting and what not. But… I’m not blaming his death or… I don’t know Josh nothing I can say can defend my actions.” He nodded, his eyes were blank. I knew he was trying not too get too angry.
“You’re right. Nothing you can say will ever make up for this… But, why? I would have… You know I would have taken care of you. Of Misha.”
I sputtered for the right words.
“I… I know. But… I was stupid. I thought… that with all the new publicity you were getting. Things would get harder for us anyway. And I mean, come on Josh, you were and still are one of the best people in Hollywood. You’ve never been involved in any scandals. You’re record’s squeaky clean. What would everyone have thought if you’d knocked up you’re nobody-girlfriend?”
“I don’t care what anybody would have thought!” His voice raising slightly. He stopped once he remembered Misha in the other room. He took a deep breath. “I would have dealt with it.”
“And your publicists? Do you realize how difficult it would have been to get more jobs? Or for me to get jobs? Not just that, do you know how dangerous it would have been for me and Misha? To carry him around for nine months? I already had death threats-“
“That I stopped.”
“Yes, that you stopped. But I was being followed by paparazzi everywhere and getting death threats… and add the fact that we were unwed, dating not even a year and had a kid on the way? I was scared, Josh. I was a scared little girl and so instead of doing the right thing I ran. Like a coward I ran. I was scared, not only for me but for Misha.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes.
“That doesn’t gi-“
“I know, Josh. I know. I never said it did. I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’m not saying what I did was right because it’s not.”
“Why didn’t you come to me later, then? Before now? You’ve been living in LA for a year. Working and living in this… place. I could have helped.”
“Because I didn’t want your help. I thought… I thought I could do it on my own.”